Boy/Boy VS Boy/Girl

One question that I hate to be asked by outside voices who nosily butt into my relationships is, "Who is the girl, who is the boy?"

I'm sure there will be people who will read this and will totally and un-quaveringly disagree, but in a relationship between two males why would it make any sense for there to be a girl in the relationship (unless one of the males believe that they are girl, then I suppose that's a completely different story)?

There is this innate, maybe even subliminal or propagandistic, ideal that the homosexual relationship should imitate the heterosexual relationship. I think it all simply falls under the stereotyping placed upon tops and bottoms. By "common demand" tops are masculine and bottoms are feminine. Therefore the masculine tops date the feminine bottoms, hence the male/female association, and if anyone somehow corrupts this formula it is for some reason frowned upon.

But if we leave that cookie cutter black and white world for just a moment, we would realize that masculine males date masculine males and feminine males date feminine males. As for the lesbian community, I haven't seen a lot of stud on stud action but I have seen fem on fem, but whatever the case homosexual relationships should not be based upon gender associations.

There was an instance where I was somewhat dating a person and it was already established that we were developing feelings for one another. We both are between those masculine and feminine barriers (meaning that we are not completely masculine or feminine), and this made him uncomfortable because he hadn't see a relationship between two such people and he didn't think it was right. So, of course, that relationship didn't workout. But masculinity shouldn't have that much bearing on who you date, unless that's your preference of course. Choices shouldn't be made because of societal norms whether in the larger brackets of the world or in the smaller brackets of the gay community. It's already bad to be apart of the gay community, BUT if you're feminine then apparently you are below the rest of the gay community. Have we created a hierarchy amongst ourselves? Are we building walls of separation in our own communities? In our attempts to stamp out conformity have we created our own statutes to conform?

It's something to think about...

♥ Kimokeo